I'm not pleased

Okay, my posts are usually happy and hopeful. This one will not be. Maybe it's a bit inspired by Soyeon. Maybe it's just how I feel right now. (No, I'm not suicidal. These are all metaphorical. I care, but not that much)
I was talking to someone online tonight and it was sort of like getting stabbed in the back. And then kicked to the ground. And stabbed again.
The pain won't end.
I'm sick of it.
I wish I could just be honest with the world. I wish people would accept what I have to say. But it's not appropriate. It's not acceptable. It's just not right. So how can I tell you what I really think? I doubt you'll believe me, especially after tonight. I doubt you'll care. I doubt you'll want to do anything about it.
These feelings are new, unfamiliar things. Not for me, but for you. Will you ever get it? Should you?

mm, that felt good. In other words, I got first in all-state again this year. And my midyears are good so far.